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Passive Aggressive Behavior – Understanding and Managing it in the Workplace

In the Radical Collaboration world, we talk of three different kinds of working environments: While the Red and the Green Zone may be obvious in how they show up, the Pink Zone is equally powerful, and just as destructive as Red Zone thinking. Essentially, two words sum up the Pink Zone, “passive aggression”, but many hours and emotional frustrations result in its expression! Why does it show up, and how can you deal with it when it does? There are many reasons why people can become or act in a passive aggressive manner: They feel powerless or voiceless, and this is a way for them to have impact. They do not enjoy conflict and perceive deeper interactions with others as having the potential for conflict. The politics of the workplace may dictate that it is unsafe for them to speak out especially if it is against a superior or a well-liked colleague. The management style of the company is such that open communication is discouraged, or that bad behaviors are not managed. ...
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The Many and Unique Ways Women in Business Build Community

Preparing for a workshop with friend and colleague Elizabeth Kuylenstierna If you are a woman in business, have you ever noticed how often you may start talking with another woman in business about an issue or concern, and suddenly you find yourself offering - or accepting - advice, guidance, help or offers of collaboration- for free?  When I look back over the past 9 years since I started Namaqua Consulting, there are multiple occasions where I have made friends across the country or across continents, where I have shared techniques and approaches, coached and been coached, and entered collaborative and nurturing relationships with other women with nothing more than the desire to see each other do well emotionally, spiritually and financially. Why is this, and is it unique to women?  Part of me says ‘no’, in that I have also met some wonderful businessmen who have also shown a genuine interest in offering help or guidance, but 9/10 times, it is with other women...

Why Red Zone Thinking Blocks Progress in Organizations and Politics

In yesterday's New York Times (July 26, 2017) there was a startling article by Kevin Quealy “Trump Is on Track to Insult 650 People, Places and Things on Twitter by the End of His First Term”.   For a leader to be in a place where he feels that he constantly has to attack, and is under attack, means that he is constantly under stress, and we all know that elevated cortisol and norepinephrine levels have a negative effect on bodily functions like the immune system, the metabolism as well as the mental health of the individual, such as memory and mental illness .  High levels of norepinephrine, means that the President is constantly in a state of fight or flight response.  It is no wonder then that there are so many reports of leaks, blame, hostility and silo’d thinking coming from the White House, let alone the competitive and short-term behaviors that are defining the Trump administration’s rule.  This is classic Red Zone behavior (in Radical Collaboration lan...

Mindfulness- 5-10 minutes that could transform your day

25 years ago, the CEO of a company where I worked, offered to pay for Transcendental Meditation classes for any employees who wanted to try it.  He spoke of the benefits to health, the increase in mental productivity, and longevity.  At the time I thought the idea a bit 'flakey', but was interested enough to give it a try.   Over the years, the return on that single investment, has been invaluable.  As a consultant with a hectic travel and client focus, I have been able to spend a quick 20 minutes in busy airports, on trains, in parks or with a quick time out on client site having worked hours on a big deadline.  Yet 20 minutes for some may be too long a time.  I have learned several different approaches in recent years, which can be practiced in a 5-10 minute time-frame, including halted breathing; grounded thinking; and tri-focus (belly, heart, mind) energy , which can help me to refocus my mind, stop the pestering internal talk, and bring me back to a...

The Space For - And Power of - Apology

Recently, I found myself in a situation where I become the unwitting focus of a poison email copied to eight other people.  I was stunned.  My immediate reaction was a knee-jerk response, wanting to send a smarting reply that would put him down, and show how I was the unwitting victim of his surprise attack. Instead, I chose a different route, and decided to slow down.  My Radical Collaboration training has taught me that taking a breath and stepping back from something when I notice a physical or emotional reaction, gives me the ability to try to understand my own “need” behind my reaction.  In this situation, my need was to be seen as competent and in control by others.  As a result, I had to own that it was MY interpretation of his email which fed MY own feelings of incompetence, and I had to manage that, not him.  He did not intend my reaction. By understanding that about myself, it allowed me to divorce my reality from an attempt to interpret hi...
The challenge with KPI's and hard numbers is that not only can they lack relevancy, but they frequently do not invite collaboration. Instead they create the opportunity for individuals to protect, reinforce, or enforce thinking. Unless there is a corporate culture which enables collaborative thinking a pure focus on KPI's encourages secrecy around mistakes, a lack of accountability in individuals, and a complete lack of awareness of the priorities of others. This then requires hierarchical decision making as people pass the buck up the line. Yves Morieux of BCG gives a wonderful TED Talk on the old and 'new' ways in which organizations need to work, much of which was originally put forward by one of my favorite business gurus and writers, Ricardo Semler in his book Maverick, back in 1988.

Why Radical Collaboration Gives Back

I recently read this HBR article  by David Maxfield, on How a Culture of Silence Eats Away at Your Company. No surprise, there were some shocking statistics in the article such as:' 90% of nurses don’t speak up to a physician even when they know a patient’s safety is at risk. ....  93% of people say their organization is at risk of an accident  waiting to happen because people are either unwilling or unable to speak up."  or that the costs of these silences was so high ' The average person estimated the cost of silence at $7,500, and 20% of our sample estimated the cost of avoiding a difficult conversation to be more than $50,000.  " While these numbers are shocking, this syndrome is decades old.  I see this as a solid leadership problem.  As the article suggests, there are ways to overcome this problem.  However, the solutions are not instinctive, and really need to be learned and practiced.  Individuals and teams need to learn how to cr...